How can I recognize the signs of domestic violence and abuse?

It is impossible to know what happens exactly between the partners in their homes. But, there are warning signs which may tell you about domestic violence and abuse.

The general warning signs of domestic violence include:

• Afraid of the partner
• Want to please the partner always
• Say only “Yes” to the partner
• Report the partner often where and what she does
• Receive harassing or insulting phone calls from the partner
• Very often talk about partner’s jealousy, temper or possessiveness

The abuser may isolate the partner and this happens very often. The warning signs of isolation include:

• Not allowing to see or meet family members and friends
• Not allowed to go out without the partner
• Has very limited or no access to money

In domestic violence and abuse we have physical as well as psychological abuses. The warning signs of physical violence include:

• Has frequent injuries; usual excuse is accidents
• Often absent in work or in social gatherings without explanation
• Used to wear clothes to hide the scars and bruises. Wearing sunglasses inside the buildings and wearing long sleeves in the hot weather

The abused have many psychological problems also. The psychological warning signs of abuse include:

• Has very low self-esteem
• Major personality changes
• Is depressed or anxious
• May be thinking or talking about suicide

If you notice these warning signs in your family member or friends you must talk to them. You must ask and show your concern to them. You must listen to them very carefully and try to understand their situation rightly. You must offer help to them and support their decisions. These can be very valuable to them.

Is sadness depression?

Many people use the word depression if they are sad. Sadness is entirely different from depression. Many depressed people are not at all sad. But they feel empty, lifeless and hopeless.

Depression interferes in your day-to-day life including your ability to work, learn, eat, sleep and social life. You feel that you are empty and you cannot stop the negative thoughts. You feel totally helpless, hopeless and worthless and there is normally no relief from these feelings.

The loss of your child or partner can make you very sad and from this sadness in extreme cases depression may develop. Extreme fear from the finance or other problems can also cause depression

Depression symptoms vary from person to person and the common symptoms include:

• A strong feeling of helplessness and hopelessness. You believe that it is impossible to change this worst situation. You cannot stop your negative thoughts
• Sleep disorders, normally sleeplessness or too much of sleep
• Loss of energy and feeling fatigue
• Complete loss of interest in daily activities
• Loss or gain of appetite and weight changes
• Feeling of worthlessness or guilt. You feel that everything is your mistake and are convinced that you could never change this
• Restlessness or irritability
• Concentration problems – you cannot decide, you forget a lot and the easy things are becoming the most difficult task
• Extreme fear
• Unexplained pains and aches
• Thoughts of death and suicide

Many of these symptoms can be a part of life’s normal lows. If you have more symptoms, they are strong and last long then you have depression. You may need help now.

Suicide is a big risk factor of depression and the warning signs include:

• Talking about death or harming to self
• Calling and visiting people to say goodbye
• Sudden feeling change from extreme depression to acting calm and happy
• Trying to regulate the personal affairs
• “Everything is better without me” is the usually heard sentence

In this case the family members or friends must inform the doctor for professional help. It is a cry for help and the action in the right time can save a life.

There are different kinds of medicines to treat and your doctor will select the right medicine for you. Individual or group psychotherapy is also necessary to treat depression.