For decades I follow the attitudes towards premarital sex, homosexuality, masturbation and other sexual behaviors in many countries. These are present in different patterns and are different from culture to culture. In India we talk proudly about our tradition and culture. It is good, but we preach only for others what is good and what is not and the standards for us are mostly entirely different.
In almost all the developed countries premarital sex is allowed and practiced. For the families it is always a serious subject as the parents throughout the world think about the welfare of their children in the same way. I know families in the Western countries where the parents are very much worried about the teen sex and premarital sex. Parents are worried about the unwanted pregnancies and also about the sexually transmitted infections including HIV infection.
When we talk premarital sex many think that it is only about women. They consider it is normal for a man to have it. Interestingly, many women in India agree or tolerate this. They think one headache less. The men are happy, but spoil their health and the health of their wives and children with infections and other financial problems.
I have talked with one known man in India and he was arguing with me about the bad effects of premarital sex on family and society and about the unwanted pregnancy for several hours in a very fanatic way. In course of time I came in good contact with few women in his family. After few months they told me about the abortions what they had in their family from premarital sex. How to comment this?
It is better to talk about the premarital sex and other forms of sexual behaviors in an open way in the family so that the teens and the youth know about this clearly. Along with this you can inform them your traditional and cultural values. Do not mix the religions here as we know well our God’s enjoyed their love life very well.
Let me tell you how things happen in Western countries. In many countries the teens and young women can go to the doctor and get the information from him about contraceptives or sexual problems. Many teens got their first experience when a boy whom they like forced her to oral sex. This has a serious effect on that girl or young women. Many avoided men for a long time in their life; many accepted it with the fear to lose him and many did it to the end with joy. Many women around 17 or 18 say that they allow their boyfriend to have oral or anal sex to keep them with them as the competition is high.
The teens who take virgin pledge in USA are more vulnerable to pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. Compared with other West European countries the prevalence of teen’s pregnancy and infections are more in USA.
What are the thoughts in Western countries about relationship and premarital sex? Things were entirely different till the birth or oral contraceptive pills in 1968. The moral standards were high for sex before that. Pregnancy outside the marriage was considered shame to the family and society. The oral contraceptive pills gave the women the freedom to experience and enjoy sex. That was the starting point of the downfall of men dominance. It is also a big question whether all the women are happy with this freedom!!!
Today majority of the Western women do masturbation from puberty. They learn it from their cousins, friends or from youth magazines. Thus they know well what sexual pleasure is compared to Asian women and they expect this from their partners. Here comes the first problem of strong men. Is it important to our theme? Yes, the knowledge of the sexual, psychological and physical aspects of love must be understood by men and women well to take their decisions in life, regarding their premarital sex life too.
We, in India, mostly close our eyes if some bad thing happens. We abuse children sexually and that also mostly in religious- and marriage functions. But when it comes to premarital sex suddenly all men are saints. This is why I wrote a book in 2009 “Sexual abuse of Children and Sex Health Education” (Aaron Verlag Publishers, Chennai, ISBN: 978-81-908673-0-6). This book is written to show that how the world exploits children in various forms sexually and how important sex health education is for a happy life.
The parents must be educated first and they must give the right information to their children in the appropriate stages in their life. Even today, after sex education in the school, many Western girls, women and men do not have adequate knowledge about their or partners body and the psychological aspects of thoughts of men and women sexually.
I must tell you some adverse effects of knowing about sex or other sexual behaviors from the social media. If a young woman suddenly hears from a man how he wants to enjoy her and what all she must do for him, for many girls and young women their healthy world collapses suddenly. Their dreams are entirely different about, love, tenderness and sex. For many it is a shock which affects their relationship with men in their whole life as sexual abuse.
The negative aspect of relationship or premarital sex is when the first boyfriend goes away or a relationship breaks many women fall in deep depression. Anti-depressive and psychiatric medicines are used to help them to come out from their shock. Many understand how hard life is, how important social guidelines are and few never learn.
India is a big country. The culture and tradition are different in many parts. South is different than North and East is different than West. The frontier regions have their own problems. The cosmopolitan cities are like in Western countries. In big cities many unskilled women workers become very quickly pregnant and the abortions are common. Abortion brings a deep scar in the mind of any woman.
There are women trafficking in our world in a brutal way and it is also practiced in India to supply teens and young women to the red-light areas or to the brothels. Families send their daughters and men send their wives with much pressure to earn money from this. There are even few who sell their daughter or wife for money. Everything is known and there are many ways to stop this, but we don’t do. Incest is also a problem everywhere in this world including India.
The rural India is different, but there live also only women and men. They have got their own problems and interestingly they solve in their own way. But mostly it is dictated on women.
In modern India the young women want to know more and more about relationship and sexuality. Men ask less because they are convinced to know everything better. In the pair-counseling it is very interesting to hear the argument of both men and women. Both have little knowledge and in the busy day sex becomes a routine for few minutes. After the counseling they are happy because they have found out that the wonderful time together can be longer. Many men understood for the first time that they have to satisfy their wife sexually and it is entirely different than their pleasure.
It is not necessary for a man to master “Kama Sutra” to satisfy his partner and it is too easy if knows how and what to do this. The couples who are happy in their bed room do lead a happy life always because they understand and listen better their partner.
My conclusion is, after thinking all the arguments, premarital sex can be practiced by men and women if they have the good knowledge. It is individual’s decision considering their circumstances including religion, tradition and custom to do it or not. I am very sick to hear that the men who had already sexually transmitted infections wish to marry only virgins. Equal rights are the best here.
It is absolutely necessary to be true to the wife and to the husband after marriage. Suspicion and jealous can kill love and life.
I hate the idea of single parents, woman or man since here the children suffer the most and these children have no great chances to come up in life. We need marriage; otherwise loneliness is the punishment for us to all our sins in this world.
I have no understanding to men who love their mothers and sisters, but treat their wife or girl friends like a slave or sex-machine.
For others who shout against this, if you point out one with your index finger three fingers are in your direction. So think before you throw the first stone.
In many countries premarital sex is a crime and the laws are always above the feelings and emotions. I hate honor-killings and the child marriage in some parts of Rajasthan with the hope that the girl will not love another man in her later years.
Condoms are very important in premarital sex as it can prevent unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. On the other hand, I know many condom burst cases where women became pregnant. In case of sexually transmitted infection diagnosis, in Germany, the doctor has to inform the health department so that all persons who had sexual contact with this particular person could be checked for possible infections. It may bring problems to married men or women, but from the health point of view of the partner and children it must be regulated from the law-makers and health authorities.
I don’t advise oral contraceptive pills to teens and young women as these have many side effects. Do not forget, even in Western countries only 50% women take oral contraceptive pills. Others have problems or not willing to swallow chemicals regularly.
Here I don’t write any scientific article, but simple facts to understand, think, discuss, learn and to take decisions. All are welcome to ask questions or make their comments. Online counseling is also possible.
Premarital sex is the individual decision of a well informed young woman or man. What do you think? Do you agree?
In almost all the developed countries premarital sex is allowed and practiced. For the families it is always a serious subject as the parents throughout the world think about the welfare of their children in the same way. I know families in the Western countries where the parents are very much worried about the teen sex and premarital sex. Parents are worried about the unwanted pregnancies and also about the sexually transmitted infections including HIV infection.
When we talk premarital sex many think that it is only about women. They consider it is normal for a man to have it. Interestingly, many women in India agree or tolerate this. They think one headache less. The men are happy, but spoil their health and the health of their wives and children with infections and other financial problems.
I have talked with one known man in India and he was arguing with me about the bad effects of premarital sex on family and society and about the unwanted pregnancy for several hours in a very fanatic way. In course of time I came in good contact with few women in his family. After few months they told me about the abortions what they had in their family from premarital sex. How to comment this?
It is better to talk about the premarital sex and other forms of sexual behaviors in an open way in the family so that the teens and the youth know about this clearly. Along with this you can inform them your traditional and cultural values. Do not mix the religions here as we know well our God’s enjoyed their love life very well.
Let me tell you how things happen in Western countries. In many countries the teens and young women can go to the doctor and get the information from him about contraceptives or sexual problems. Many teens got their first experience when a boy whom they like forced her to oral sex. This has a serious effect on that girl or young women. Many avoided men for a long time in their life; many accepted it with the fear to lose him and many did it to the end with joy. Many women around 17 or 18 say that they allow their boyfriend to have oral or anal sex to keep them with them as the competition is high.
The teens who take virgin pledge in USA are more vulnerable to pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. Compared with other West European countries the prevalence of teen’s pregnancy and infections are more in USA.
What are the thoughts in Western countries about relationship and premarital sex? Things were entirely different till the birth or oral contraceptive pills in 1968. The moral standards were high for sex before that. Pregnancy outside the marriage was considered shame to the family and society. The oral contraceptive pills gave the women the freedom to experience and enjoy sex. That was the starting point of the downfall of men dominance. It is also a big question whether all the women are happy with this freedom!!!
Today majority of the Western women do masturbation from puberty. They learn it from their cousins, friends or from youth magazines. Thus they know well what sexual pleasure is compared to Asian women and they expect this from their partners. Here comes the first problem of strong men. Is it important to our theme? Yes, the knowledge of the sexual, psychological and physical aspects of love must be understood by men and women well to take their decisions in life, regarding their premarital sex life too.
We, in India, mostly close our eyes if some bad thing happens. We abuse children sexually and that also mostly in religious- and marriage functions. But when it comes to premarital sex suddenly all men are saints. This is why I wrote a book in 2009 “Sexual abuse of Children and Sex Health Education” (Aaron Verlag Publishers, Chennai, ISBN: 978-81-908673-0-6). This book is written to show that how the world exploits children in various forms sexually and how important sex health education is for a happy life.
The parents must be educated first and they must give the right information to their children in the appropriate stages in their life. Even today, after sex education in the school, many Western girls, women and men do not have adequate knowledge about their or partners body and the psychological aspects of thoughts of men and women sexually.
I must tell you some adverse effects of knowing about sex or other sexual behaviors from the social media. If a young woman suddenly hears from a man how he wants to enjoy her and what all she must do for him, for many girls and young women their healthy world collapses suddenly. Their dreams are entirely different about, love, tenderness and sex. For many it is a shock which affects their relationship with men in their whole life as sexual abuse.
The negative aspect of relationship or premarital sex is when the first boyfriend goes away or a relationship breaks many women fall in deep depression. Anti-depressive and psychiatric medicines are used to help them to come out from their shock. Many understand how hard life is, how important social guidelines are and few never learn.
India is a big country. The culture and tradition are different in many parts. South is different than North and East is different than West. The frontier regions have their own problems. The cosmopolitan cities are like in Western countries. In big cities many unskilled women workers become very quickly pregnant and the abortions are common. Abortion brings a deep scar in the mind of any woman.
There are women trafficking in our world in a brutal way and it is also practiced in India to supply teens and young women to the red-light areas or to the brothels. Families send their daughters and men send their wives with much pressure to earn money from this. There are even few who sell their daughter or wife for money. Everything is known and there are many ways to stop this, but we don’t do. Incest is also a problem everywhere in this world including India.
The rural India is different, but there live also only women and men. They have got their own problems and interestingly they solve in their own way. But mostly it is dictated on women.
In modern India the young women want to know more and more about relationship and sexuality. Men ask less because they are convinced to know everything better. In the pair-counseling it is very interesting to hear the argument of both men and women. Both have little knowledge and in the busy day sex becomes a routine for few minutes. After the counseling they are happy because they have found out that the wonderful time together can be longer. Many men understood for the first time that they have to satisfy their wife sexually and it is entirely different than their pleasure.
It is not necessary for a man to master “Kama Sutra” to satisfy his partner and it is too easy if knows how and what to do this. The couples who are happy in their bed room do lead a happy life always because they understand and listen better their partner.
My conclusion is, after thinking all the arguments, premarital sex can be practiced by men and women if they have the good knowledge. It is individual’s decision considering their circumstances including religion, tradition and custom to do it or not. I am very sick to hear that the men who had already sexually transmitted infections wish to marry only virgins. Equal rights are the best here.
It is absolutely necessary to be true to the wife and to the husband after marriage. Suspicion and jealous can kill love and life.
I hate the idea of single parents, woman or man since here the children suffer the most and these children have no great chances to come up in life. We need marriage; otherwise loneliness is the punishment for us to all our sins in this world.
I have no understanding to men who love their mothers and sisters, but treat their wife or girl friends like a slave or sex-machine.
For others who shout against this, if you point out one with your index finger three fingers are in your direction. So think before you throw the first stone.
In many countries premarital sex is a crime and the laws are always above the feelings and emotions. I hate honor-killings and the child marriage in some parts of Rajasthan with the hope that the girl will not love another man in her later years.
Condoms are very important in premarital sex as it can prevent unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. On the other hand, I know many condom burst cases where women became pregnant. In case of sexually transmitted infection diagnosis, in Germany, the doctor has to inform the health department so that all persons who had sexual contact with this particular person could be checked for possible infections. It may bring problems to married men or women, but from the health point of view of the partner and children it must be regulated from the law-makers and health authorities.
I don’t advise oral contraceptive pills to teens and young women as these have many side effects. Do not forget, even in Western countries only 50% women take oral contraceptive pills. Others have problems or not willing to swallow chemicals regularly.
Here I don’t write any scientific article, but simple facts to understand, think, discuss, learn and to take decisions. All are welcome to ask questions or make their comments. Online counseling is also possible.
Premarital sex is the individual decision of a well informed young woman or man. What do you think? Do you agree?
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